Moments of Indecision

Mornin'

The are two ways we can go during moments of indecision. They are act and don't act and each decision brings with it its own set of consequences.

Let's take acting during moments of indecision. When we do not think challenges or situations through and act impulsively, we can either succeed or suffer what seems like failure. Things aren't always what they seem so we must be careful when always looking at our mishaps in a negative light.

First, when we decide on something impulsively and get less than desirable consequences, we should look at the whole situation as a learning experience instead of a failure. That way, we can avoid unnecessary negative self talk; energy that could be spent of managing other areas of our lives.

Finally, we can act impulsively and get the results we desire. This is oftentimes referred to as acting instinctively to certain situations. It is the Great Spirit's way of protecting us and usually the one's we love. Some refer to it as part of our self-preservation skills.

We can also refrain from acting in situations altogether and this too has mixed consequences. When we refrain from acting in situations, there can either be positive or negative results. By not acting, we could prevent a situation from escalating to dangerous levels or watch as a conflict builds and people or things suffer undesirable consequences.

Life seems to be a delicate balance of these two options. When we should or should not act in certain situations becomes an art, if you will, as we mature. This is a complex topic, one in which each person's unique wants and needs play an important role in which direction these choices take them. I have learned through my own experiences that I usually need to think things - though briefly sometimes - through before I act. I work diligently to avoid acting on impulse these days. It is one of the greatest challenges I have ever accepted but one in which I have also learned many valuable lessons. Well thought out decisions produce far better consequences than impulsive, selfish ones.

Peace

Strugglin' Through Pain

pain (pān)

noun: pain; plural noun: pains

1.

physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.

Mornin'

Inescapable, pain serves many purposes in our lives. The one's that come to mind this morning are pain as a motivator and pain as a warning sign. I believe emotional and spiritual pain are the biggest motivators in a human being's life. They serve to force individuals to act so as to either improve or worsen their spiritual or emotional condition. I find it interesting that we always have a choice in this matter. We certainly do not have any control over what other people do but we do have control how we react to those folks. What we do with a stimulus is crucial to a life of peace and happiness. It is truly up to us.

Now, regarding physical pain; this is something that asks us to stop and reconsider what we are doing as well. It can be a great motivator (i.e. when we work out and get sore, we know our muscles are on their way to increasing in size so this propels us into working out more) or a life saving feeling. When we are injured, our body sends a signal to our brain that we are distressed and in pain. The brain immediately returns the sensation of pain to the sight of the injury. This causes us to stop what we are doing in order to stop additional pain or to preserve life. It also allows us to step back and reassess what we are faced with. Is what we are engaged in really helping me or is it harming me each time I participate?

This discussion could go on ad nausea  so I jotted down a few ideas I had off the top of my head. Feel free to comment on this entry so I can learn more about this topic. One important thing concerning pain is that oftentimes the secret to as pain free a life as possible is simply paying attention in everything we do. Whether in a relationship or at work, much pain can be avoided by paying particular attention to the details in our lives. Never take anything or any person for granted. Just when you let your guard of vigilance down, more pain than is necessary will oftentimes enter your life. So, we cannot escape pain in our lives but can mitigate its effects.

Peace

Are we having fun yet?

Mornin'

Having fun, my friends, is essential to a life of excitement and content. I spent many years of my life caught in the web of depression, self-doubt, and many other negative, oppressive thoughts and feelings. It was not until I learned how to laugh regularly again did I begin to enjoy my life. I'm not talking about a chuckle or two here or there. I am talking about those gut laughs that make your stomach muscles hurt and eyes water. 

Whatever means you see fit to fulfill this mission should always be tempered with keeping others' feelings in mind. There are certain things that are off limits for joking. They include physically or emotionally challenged individual as well as folks who are in the position I was once in where they are far too sensitive to appreciate the jokes and who's emotions may spin wildly out of control due to this instability.

The rest is wide open. One important thing I needed to learn how to do was laugh at myself in different ways. As my self-esteem began to heal and I became more self-assured, it was a lot easier to laugh at my quirkiness and goofiness more often because I had a firmer foundation and better understanding of who I was. 

It is so freeing to be able to laugh spontaneously and not take myself so seriously all the time. I have found that my laughter and good cheer breeds more life into me and helps me relate to others more. My change in outlook on life has also attracted more people. Deep down, most people prefer to be around someone who is happy and fun. No one likes a deadbeat. I know this because I spent a long time miserable and depressed only to find out that I repelled more folks than I attracted. Driving people away from me due to my low opinion of self and anger only made me more lonely, depressed, and hopeless. I much prefer this side of the fence and continue to look for opportunities to laugh and enjoy my peers and family on a daily basis. Do you?

Peace

My Miniscule Problems

Mornin'

Sometimes I think I have a greater number of problems than the next person and it always seems that my problems are greater to overcome than theirs. Well, let me tell you: I have the honor and privilege to witness something extremely courageous in an acquaintance of mine and I am sure your problems will seem less harsh after you hear what he goes through on a daily basis. For a quick education, visit the Mayo Clinic website. This will give you a brief description of the disease.

Suffice to say, my friend suffers frequent bouts with excruciating pain the basically render him unable to function properly until the pain subsides. Headaches are nothing compared to the devastating sensations caused by having TN. Again, I learned that the problems I face on a daily basis are no where near as painful and debilitating as those suffered by others.This man is a hero to me and I often wonder what I can do to alleviate his suffering. The short answer is "not much". After brain surgery to alleviate the disease, symptoms returned within a year. He has had some relief but the pain is still unbearable at times.

Please keep my friend in your thoughts and please remember that, although our problems seem unbearable at times, there are plenty of other people who struggle and suffer with their problems far more than we could ever imagine.

Peace

Fighting Addictions

Mornin'

I would like to briefly discuss addiction this morning. Most, if not all, people in this world suffer from some form of addiction. Whether it is drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, or any of the other limitless ways addiction can manifest itself in the lives of human beings, addiction is a reality we simply cannot avoid forever.Some addictions seem to be harmless while others take individuals to a life of dereliction, jails, institutions, and quite possibly death.

At the core of all addictions seems to be a propensity for the victims of addiction to avoid self. They seem to be unwilling and almost incapable at facing the very issues that keep them caught up in their addictive cycle. They are usually the last one's to realize that what they are engaged in is unhealthy in some way. It is usually when their addiction paints them in a corner with no other alternatives but to face their issues do folks get better.

Addiction has another component that is usually present in all forms of it. It is called self-centered fear; fear which has at its center the individual and their anxious and worrisome thoughts about self. Their every waking moment seems to be about themselves and how they can do things to avoid losing control of themselves and their environment. They are wounded and try desperately to hide from the issues that threaten the subconscious beliefs that keep them in a state of insecurity, depression, resentment, and many more emotions tied to the various diseases of addiction.

The addict seems to be cold and calculating in their pursuit of self. They may seem to be unfazed by what they do to fulfill their selfish desires. It is important to remember that there is a human being at the core of all this activity and, this being the case, most addicts tend to also feel the effects of what they do. In fact, the reason why they engage more in the activities that created the problem in the beginning is to alleviate the pain of having to face the consequences of their actions. There is nothing personal about how an addict behaves. It may seem so. However, the last thing an addict is concerned about is deliberately damaging the relationships with the people who love him. He simply does what he needs to do to fill the ever increasing void in his soul. He most definitely feels the feelings when he comes down from the drugs or loses the elation and rush a shopping spree provides.

Every form of addiction has its devastating qualities. Some seem to be worse than others but are all damaging to varying degrees. The important thing to remember if you do, in fact, suffer from some form of addiction is that help is available. Significant others like family need to also remember the concept of tough love. It is okay to say no to the addict without feeling guilty for doing so. If you look at how you handle the addict from the standpoint of saving their life, the footwork seems to be a little easier.

Peace

Dealing with Different Personalities

Mornin'

People with differing personalities used to baffle me. I often wondered why all of us were not more alike than what we are. Wouldn't the world run more smoothly if we were all good people and acted the same? No! I believe we are all different for at least a couple of reasons.

First, I think we are all different so we have a platform from which we can all learn something new or be reminded of something we are doing well or should be doing each and every day. Just as we can learn from the mistakes of others, so we can extract healthy techniques ad strategies that we can use to accentuate the good we already possess.

Secondly, wouldn't life be boring if we only experienced the same type of individuals each day? I think life would get boring quickly. The differing personalities and features of each and every human on the face of the earth provide a special kind of uniqueness matched by nothing else in the world.

People's talents also add to the spice of life. Without ingenuity, our world would certainly be void of all the fascinating inventions calved out of the Great Spirit. There are people more intelligent than other but not necessarily more creative. The person afflicted with a disfiguring disease and the one who is a model for a popular fashion magazine are both creative in their own right. In fact, the disfigured person may have a far better personality than the one wooing people with his/her stunning looks and figure. We just never know what kind of talents other have to offer unless we reach out and learn more about individuals.

Thirdly, I believe we are all different because we hold a unique spot in making other people's lives more liveable. We are hope to others even if we are caught up in a seemingly hopeless dilemma called addiction or some other malady. Where others draw hope from us they may lose the hope that they value so much when dealing with others. Life is a constant game of give and take and those who take and never receive are usually the ones who are least happy. It is the people who try to learn from others and themselves on a daily basis and give back to the less fortunate when they can that seem to be the happiest.

Finally, I believe we are all unique because it keeps us dependent on others for the things and talents we don't have. For example, I am not a mechanic. Sure, I used to be able to give an older vehicle a tune up and can still change the oil in a car. I can even do several other maintenance tasks on a vehicle. I do not, however, work on the engine, transmission, exhaust, and many other components on my car simply because I know nothing about them. The proper tools required to work at those levels are not in my possession anyway. So what do I do? I take my car to a mechanic so he can work on it. Now, if someone needed to either get help and support for themselves or a significant other concerning addiction and recovery, I am qualified to provide the proper information to help them deal with these issues. Simply put, a man/woman has got to know his limitations.

Peace